HOW DID SHE EVEN KNOW?

I had barely slept in the morning when my mom decided to pop into my room and talk to me about something she felt was important. She has never popped in my room at 8 in the morning to just talk. I realized it was something huge and then she asked me to invite her home and her sentence, "I want to meet her", woke me up. 

“Sorry. What?” barely awake I asked her again.

“I want to meet her. I think it’s time,” she replied. 

“Are you sure? Because there is no pressure,” I asked her to make sure I heard right.  

“Yes. Call her. Ask her to come for dinner today if her parents allow,” she replied. 

“Ummm. Okay,” I think I sounded confused.  

“Is there anything she likes to eat in specific?” she asked me again 

“She eats everything” I assured her. 

“Good. I like her already” mom replied. 

I couldn’t sleep after that 10 minute conversation with mom and I was pacing in the room, tried to sleep but couldn’t so I decided to text her and tell her about the little dinner party she had to come tonight at 8. I know she’d freak out but it is a good thing that my mother wants to meet her. She had always asked me about the time when she’ll finally be able to meet her as my girlfriend. 

"My mom wants to meet you tonight. She has invited you for dinner” I texted her.

“WHAT THE FUCK. WHY? HOW DID SHE EVEN KNOW?” she sounded scared 

“She read the letters we wrote to each other during the summer while cleaning the cupboard,” I told her. 

“Oh fuck, Sam, you should have been more careful” she was starting to sound mad

“I know. But isn't this good?” I asked her  

“I don't know. Anyway, I have something to tell you too” she replied back 

“What?” I started to panic  

“Do you remember the college I was applying to in London for my Ph.D.? Well, I got it. I start next year March”, she replied and I sighed. 

“Damn. That's crazy! So many things happening today, Congratulations babe!!! I am so happy for you” I was genuinely happy for her.

“Thank you, babe! But, where does this leave us?” she asked me 

“What do you mean?” I went into the confusing zone again

“You know we have been together since 10th grade and now it's all just happening so soon. Graduation. Masters. And now the PhD. It all feels surreal but I am worried about us” as soon as I read that I realized she sounded insecure.

“It does. Indeed. But that's the beauty of life na? We evolve. We experience new things in life. Look, that college has been a dream of yours and you’re almost there to clinging onto it so do it. And when it comes to us, you know I trust you and I know you trust me so it's all going to be good. We just have to manage the fucking time zones dude!!!” I assured her.

“Why can't you come with me?” she sounded desperate 

“You know I can't babe. I have been working very hard to set up a base here and I am planning to open my own publishing house next year and now you're asking me about why can't come along with you? Don't worry thou, we'll celebrate my birthday in London. I'll visit you. Okay?” I explained. 

“Okay” she replied 

“Okay!” I replied

“Okay” she replied again 

“Okay”, I replied again

“Stop it Gus”, she sent me this and I realized we had our The Fault In Our Stars moment. 

She always knew how to make me smile and relive the moments we spoke about during our initial days of dating. We are the kind of a couple who’d lay down on a grass for hours and look at the stars and stay absolute still. We grew comfortable in each other’s silence and that’s when we know that we’re endgame. 

“Okay Hazel Grace Lancaster”, I replied

“Aacha, what should I wear? She asked me 

“Nothing I think. Would be so much fun” I tried to ease her stress down 

“Jeez. You're such a tease. Tell me na. Pleaseeeee. I want her to like me for real”, she wasn’t going to stop until I answer 

“Wear that blacktop we got from the mall last night. You looked bomb in that. Also you eat everything so, you win. She likes you already”, I told her.  

“Hahaha. Babe yaar! Chalo, I got to go. See you at 8”, she laughed at my honest answer. 

“Cool. Love you” I texted 

“Love you” she replied. 

I popped my head out to let my mother know that she was coming for dinner. I could see her preparing for the dinner already and it was such a nice and heart filing gesture for someone like my mother who belongs to the an orthodox background to even come forward and talk about his or her kids being in a relationship. I will admit that I was happy but very nervous because this meeting could go any way you know. After bhayia shifted to Pune for further studies and dad’s transfer to Delhi, it was just mom and me who were clinging onto each other for any kind of emotional, physical, and mental support. It was tough because we never really bonded during my teenage years and now suddenly we had to be there for each other and that would either exhaust us or frustrate us but we managed somehow. 

How did she found out about us? We both are modern yet old school romantics; we met in a library! Funny right? So, I was looking for a book by William Wordsworth and she was there sitting with it at the corner table and scribbling something on a piece of paper.  I clearly remember she was wearing red shirt and blue shorts and she had a short hair and a tattoo on her neck, which I though was so hot. She was not a typical girl but more like a tomboy but I was attracted to her instantly. I went to the librarian and asked him about the book and he pointed towards her and said she has it for the next 1 hour and I stood there skulking. I really needed the book and they had no other copy of it. 

I stood in front of her and gathered all the guts I had in me and politely asked her if she was done with the book because I needed it for a project. She said that she’d take another 30 minutes because she was also working on the same project so I offered her to do the project together. Anyway, we didn't go to the same school so there was no chance of being called out for cheating. She agreed. We stayed in the library until they asked us to leave for next 10 days straight. We use to meet at 8 in the morning at the nearby juice corner, had a juice and then head towards the library to study or sometimes just skip everything and go for a walk and talk and our parents thought we were working on a project. We were working but we just liked each other’s company so much that we wanted to spend more time with each other and hold onto that moment like forever. We started to find excuses to talk to each other over a text or call and even make a plan to meet outside the library.  

It was until summer that we decided to exchange handwritten letters like we were in the 80s or late 70s because no one had given us handwritten letters. We didn't realize but we were falling for each other more than we expected and no one asked questions about is this okay or anything. We just went with the flow and I am glad we did. I still have those letters tucked under my clothes and that's how my mother found them. One day, out of nowhere my mother kept those letters in front of me and asked me about them and I told her honestly about how I felt. She didn't speak to me for a week not because I was in a relationship but because I didn't confide in her.  She always thought that I’ll be honest to her with my feelings and emotions but I was there yet. She was affected about because she always felt that since bhayia left, I’d also leave her someday so she tried to keep me close to her as much as she could. But, that’s never going to happen. So, today when she came up to me to call her home, it shook me but I realized that she is okay with everything but she needed some time to process things and my feelings. 

It was 7:50 PM and I was sweating because this was it. It was time.  I texted her.

“Where are you?” I sounded panicked

“On my way” she replied within seconds. 

“Okay” I replied still sweating

“Are you nervous?” she asked me 

“Ummm yeah. Aren't you?” I honestly told her 

“No. I think she'll like it. I also brought cookies. She loves them right?” she sounded very calm 

“Yeah. Come soon” I replied and tried to calm myself down 

“Yeah. Open up” she asked me 

There was a knock at the door. My hands were sweating, I kept running my hands through my hair and my mom looked at me and laughed. 

“I am not going to eat her up Sam. Chill.”

“Hi Aunty” she greeted mom. She wore the blacktop I asked her and her hazel brown eyes shined. God, she takes my breath away every time I see her. 

“Hi beta, c'mon in. How have you been?” my mom asked her.

“Good. You? Here I got you something” she replied 

“This was not needed. Thank you so much. What would you like to drink?” she was very nice to her.

“Umm. Coffee?” she replied and laughed

Mom asked the house to help to make three cups of coffee and serve the cookies she got. I could see she was nervous too but she called her to meet her and she was going to do her job as a mother. It was not easy for her to accept all this and I am sure she avoided talking to bhayia and dad about this. It was like it was our little secret. 

“Sam told me you're going to London for your Ph.D. Is that correct?” mom straight away asked her

“Yes. I just received the acceptance letter. I had been planning that for such a long time and it's finally here. I am really excited and nervous at the same time” she stated. 

“Nervousness is sometimes good. Congratulations. I hope things settle down fast for you both”, mom replied 

“Yes” she smiled and replied. 

Mom left the room the room to check a few things in the kitchen and I looked at her sitting right beside me and I scooted in, held her hand and whispered in her ears that she looks beautiful. She smiled and said I am not looking bad either. As we were almost about to kiss, mom came back and we got awkward. I think she sensed it but chose to ignore. She made herself comfortable on her spot and asked me to serve the coffee and the cookies to everyone. 

“Aacha beta, don't mind me asking this but how do you guys proceed?” my mom asked her

“Proceed?” she sounded as confused as me  

“I mean I don't know much about this (she pointed at both of us) but since you'll be going to London, will all this be over?” my mom was concerned and I wanted to hug her and cry. She has never shown interest in my life before. 

“No No. This is forever aunty. We spoke about this just today and we have decided to figure out the time zones and then we are sorted. We both trust each other and we love each other.” She assured mom

“Okay” mom didn’t sound convinced 

“I know you must have thousands of questions going through your mind right now about how your daughter and her girlfriend are going to make it in the world where we are treated as in-humans but aunty times are changing. Things are changing. Thinking of people is changing and if we have support and love of our families with us, who is going to stop us from making big in this world? Am I right?” she assured mom 

“Yes absolutely. I am so glad Sam has you otherwise this idiot couldn't do anything on her own” I think I saw her smile 

“Hahaha no. She has a lot of potentials, we just have to push her a little and I hope we can do that together?” both of their eyes were on me after she said this 

“Yes,” mom replied. 

She gave her hand to my mother and she clutched it like she was her daughter. My mother finally accepted my girlfriend today and this made me shed a few tears but I was hungry and she prepared everything I love so I asked both sobbing ladies to sob later and eat first. 

It was time for her to go, I stopped at the door and kissed her goodnight. 

“Thank you for coming. It means a lot,” I said

“Thank you for what? Your mom just needs to feel that we are not wrong or doing this out of curiosity, we love each other no matter what gender we belong to. Our feelings are genuine and she needed to feel it too. Her elder son left her to make big in the world and when you are the whole and sole of her emotions in here, she deserved the truth. She had one daughter but today she gained one more I guess. Be nice to her Samera. She loves you a lot. I love you a lot. I hope you come soon to London,” she replied and kissed me good night. 

I went to my mother’s room and thanked her for doing what she did today. I know she has a lot of questions about our community and little steps at a time and that’s all we need. We just need to be loved and to love. I hope she’ll understand our view at some point and we are ready to answer her questions anytime. Also, my girlfriend’s name is Christy! She is the sweetest human ever and I love her.